Guest Review > Swiftwind (Masters of the Universe Classics, Mattel)

March 1, 2012 | Doc Thomas

One of the absolute best things about the original She-Ra: Princess of Power cartoon is that Swiftwind is voiced by what appears to be a chainsmoking mall Santa. Instead of choosing someone warm and soothing and appealing like, say, Twilight‘s Robert Pattinson to voice the talking horsie,* it was decided that a better option for selling the new pretty pink pony toy to little girls was the voice of the nearest gravelly-voiced hobo.** This pays off in spades, especially when the damn thing gets some action unlike poor Bow and his mate pops out a kid. If this isn’t reason enough to get over the weirdness of being an adult male collector buying dollies to own the thing, then I don’t know what is.

One of the excellent things MattyCollector has done with these larger boxed toys is brought out variant figures of the central characters so that we can have one He-Man or Skeletor to display with the other characters and one to ride on their oversized magic kitten. I feel Battle Armor He-Man looks superior to regular He-Man on Battle Cat, and the MOTU promotional material tends to agree. (more…)

Does Mattel Hate Geeks?

March 1, 2012 | Poe

Pardon the inflammatory title, but that’s more or less the gist of Paul Nicholasi’s recent post “Geek Is Still a Dirty Word,” detailing his shabby treatment at the hands of Mattel’s public relations people over the last two Toy Fairs. Money quote:

More than anything, it saddens me that things like this kill my love of collecting toys. Why am I meant to feel like I am doing something wrong when I give free publicity to a company? More often then not, we even go so far as to buy the toys we’d like to cover, as it is quicker than trying to squeeze a free sample out of a multi million dollar outfit. Shouldn’t they be very happy we are so enthusiastic about their products? If they are forced by their bosses to squeeze 100 of us into a room all at once to shoot their toys, shouldn’t they be doing their best to assure that THAT experience is as comfortable, polite and smooth as it possibly can be? […] Why is it ok to treat me like this? Because I am with the “collector press” or the “nerd herd” as I’ve heard reps call us. I’m a geek, and my love of what they produce only makes me fodder for ridicule in their minds.

While I’ll admit I tend to be skeptical of geek communities’ tendency to immediately perceive ridicule from anyone outside their cliques, I’m not sure the “geek” thing is the true problem here. It might be part of it, but I think Mattel simply doesn’t give a shit about the smaller press outlets,* who happen to produce almost all of the collector-based toy coverage. It was far more important to give the royal treatment to retailers and, to a lesser extent, the reps of larger press outlets, if any (under this scenario, I chalk up ignoring the MTV rep more to incompetence and unprofessionalism than deliberate neglect).

Regardless of motive, there’s no question Mattel is doing itself a great disservice by treating collectors this way. They’ll never grow the Masters of the Universe brand into a massive multimedia franchise like Transformers or G.I. Joe if they don’t embrace the fandom. Why that lesson can’t sink in, from the executives on down, is baffling.

* Outside of a very small cadre of fan sites with close personal connections to Mattel staffers.

Guest Review > Bubble Power She-Ra (Masters of the Universe Classics, Mattel)

February 29, 2012 | Doc Thomas

The Masters of the Universe Classics line is one of the greatest lines of action figures of all time. I don’t think one can debate this. If you strip away all of the problems with distribution, quality control, communication and Digital River, and focus solely on the toys, I don’t even think this is a question. Alongside Palisades’ Muppets, Toybiz’s Marvel Legends, and even Takara’s Masterpiece Transformers, MOTUC is an absolutely superb line of beautifully sculpted, wonderfully playable and awesomely detailed action figures to appeal to the child and adult collector alike. (Yes, MOTUC isn’t aimed at children, nor are the Masterpiece Transformers, but let’s face it, if kids could get their hands on them they’d love them, as long as they weren’t busy doing drugs and stabbing each other like most kids these days.)

Alongside Swiftwind, a new She-Ra figure was announced – an update of classic variant Bubble Power She-Ra – with improved leg movement enabling her to ride Bow Swiftwind. The first She-Ra figure lacked the articulation to do this, but with the new Bubble variant, she can easily climb on and wrap her tan, silky thighs around Bow Swiftwind as they take to the sky. For this reason, I’m reviewing the two figures together; it’s a silly idea to get one without the other, as without the new Bubble Power She-Ra Smokey has no rider, and without Swiftwind She-Ra has nothing to straddle except her hapless eunuch Bow. (more…)

Toy Aisle Trolls > Fleeced CORPS

February 28, 2012 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe@poeghostal.com.

Submitted by: MT

Was looking at the Marvel figures and noticed Doc Ock was now a poorly articulated army man. When I saw two other guys like this, I started cracking up. I alerted a nearby employee and explained what was wrong and he got a good laugh out of it too.

Karmic Curse: May you back into a pitchfork and grab a hot stove for support.


Figure It Out #5

February 27, 2012 | Poe

Click photo for larger version

Identify the figure in the photo and win a Poe Prize! Guesses due to poe@poeghostal.com by noon ET this Friday. The winner will be selected at random from correct guesses. Please put “Figure It Out” in your subject line.

Review > Man-E-Faces (Masters of the Universe Classics, Mattel)

February 27, 2012 | Poe

One concept I just could never buy into was the idea of Man-E-Faces as an actor. If so, he’s an actor with a fairly limited range: he can play a guy in  big blue mechanical suit with a domino mask, a guy in a big blue mechanical suit with a robot face, and a guy in a big blue mechanical suit with a monster face (at least until this figure, which gives him three more options).

All right, so perhaps I’m being unfair – for all I know, the monster is the Laurence Olivier of his generation. And based on his first minicomic appearance, it looks like Manny was more of a wandering bard than a leading man (note that apparently his helmet was removable). If you think of him as a storyteller who uses his ability to create the faces of the speaking characters, the whole “actor” thing makes more sense.

Man-E-Faces was one of the most iconic characters in the original Masters of the Universe toy line (and a personal favorite). He also had a Millennium figure which, while a bit pre-posed, was nonetheless one of my favorites from the revamp. Let’s see how his Classics figure compares. (more…)