I realize I’m posting this largely just to provoke some lively discussion–feel free to also discuss whether this makes me a troll on my own site or not. But in reading the comments on Topless Robot’s post about the Wonder Twins packaging, I came across this incredibly pointed attack on toy collectors. It’s notable because the writer, “ZeroCorpse,” spends a lot of ink really going for the throat here.
While everyone’s entitled to their opinion, I’m going to examine this one line by line.
There are reasons I’m not a toy collector. The biggest is that this is ultimately a waste of money, and not the “investment” most collectors will say it is.
“Investment”? “Most collectors” I know open every toy they get. While some collectors of, say, vintage Star Wars toys might look at them as an investment, I think it’s safe to say the majority of toy collectors these days have no intention of getting rich off them in the long term. The only people making money of toy collecting these days are scalpers who buy the toys in stores and immediately sell them to collectors on eBay who will probably open them once they receive them.
The second is that, while I am a geek, I’m not such a man-child that I still collect action figures. The whole point of action figures was to play with them. Collecting them and leaving them in a box, on a shelf in your home, is the sort of thing that makes people refer to you as “socially awkward” (and that’s being nice).
While some of the fellow toy collectors I know personally are a bit nerdy, I can think of at least one who’s a sports-loving, beer-drinking dude, complete with a man-cave, a keg-erator, Playboy mags in the bathroom and a shelf full of toys–oh, and a wife, in case you were wondering. He’s also one of the most outgoing guys I know.
It’s in the same category as cosplay, in my book. There’s geeky, and then there’s “too far”, and being in your 30s or older and collecting every new action figure on the market is “too far” for me.
What toy collector collects every toy on the market? Most of us collect one or two specific lines, often for nostalgic value.
If you want to collect statues, then collect real statues; Not mass-produced plastic figures. Yes, some of them are well-sculpted. Yes, some of them are very cool. But they’re not classy. They’re childish, and you can’t display them in your home without looking like a social reject.
Not classy? Frank Sinatra collected model trains. Hell, he had an entire building devoted to his toy trains.
I try to straddle the line between “geek” and “capable of being somewhat respected by non-geeks”, and while I am, indeed, very geeky… Well, I’ll never be geeky enough to have this toy sitting on a shelf in my home.
Besides, I’d almost say that toy collecting goes past “geek” into “spaz” territory.
“Spaz”? What does that even mean? My understanding of a “spaz” is someone who’s constantly hyped up and restless, which doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not they collect action figures. Unless you’re going with some sort of archaic 1980s Square Pegs understanding of “spaz,” in which case I can only assume you’re a woman in her late thirties.
It’s a cool toy… But it’s still a toy and I wouldn’t buy it unless it was to tear open the box and let my nephew play with it. Anyone who gets toys and doesn’t play with them is going against the very CONCEPT of what toys are made for!
As someone else in the comments thread on Topless Robot posted, are you sure you’re on the right website, ZC?
Toys are just one more thing people collect, like Hummels or cookie jars or collectible plates or baseball cards or thimbles or stuffed animals or little plastic football helmets or DVDs or cars or artwork. The only people who care about what people collect, and label them “childish” or otherwise, are those who, for some reason, feel the need to give people a hard time for something that makes them happy.
izdawiz
Playboy doesn't count. The only person I know that has Playboys in their house is a 72 year old and most of them appear to be at least 30 years old.
No Playboy is downright quaint now-a-days. I'm old fashioned, but not old fashioned enough to consider it porn.
I'm talking about modern day porno-junkies.
Since when did it become socially acceptable for people to declare their love for porn? Or to wear a "pornstar" shirt? Or advertise that your bum is "JUICY" if you're a pre-teen schoolgirl? Why does every no-talent Paris Hilton wannabe have to release a porn tape before the media will pay attention to their press releases?
I don't wanna know what kind of porn anyone enjoys or don't enjoy and I don't wanna see the Porn Awards televised on Showtime.
Porn should be a dirty secret and porn-junkies need to slink around like the pale, hollow-eyed operverts of old.
Otherwise what fun is it?
izdawiz
Sorry about the typos. Some of the keys on my keyboard are kinda sticky…
Mark
In all seriousness we do need to know when it gets a bit obsesive. I had 3 wardrobes almost full of stuff. I had a massive Transformers collection, near complete Thundercats collection, loads of MOTU, full Bravestarr figure collection, box of G.I. Joe toys, drawer of gobots, couple of boxes of Star Wars figures, several Japanese robots from Macross and Voltron etc. The problem was I had too much cool stuff and couldn't display it, I had forgot about the cool stuff I had as it just got pilled in a wardrobe and forgot about gathering dust. I am pretty much in the mindset now that less is more. I only want toys that I actually like or am sentimentally attached to…not because they did this in episode such and such or this and that in the comics etc. When I started collecting a couple of years ago in college it was just purely for the purpose of getting a couple of the cool ones I did not have in my collection when I was younger. I admit I went over board (thanks to eBay) and bought all I wanted and then some. That is why I have been having a massive clearout. At least I have made over £1,000. Collecting didn't affect my social life but it messed up my priorities. I didn't have alot of money saved when I was in college and I remember having to make the decission if I should spend my £15 on Transformers Hotrod or go and see Sepultura…..lets just say I made the wrong choice. At least now I can can display my collection a bit better instead of it being boxed away. I can also boast that I have owned every Transformers toy I ever really wanted except Overlord, Sunstreaker and Trypticon….when I finish clearing out I might get them LOL not as to say I won't have the room.
izdawiz
Collecting can definitely be an outlet for obsessive tendencies.
When it ceases to become a source of joy and becomes one of consternation, then it needs to stop.
I know someone who had a huge Star Wars collection then sold it all when it ceased to make him happy. Then he assembled a HUGE complete Marvel legends and Marvel toy collection and then he sold those at a HUGE loss.
What's the point?
But I think that if something brings you joy and doesn't hurt anyone else, who cares whether anyone else thinks it's cool or not, right?
Chief
@ Iz, the "Football…porno….books about war" line was a Dennis Leary joke. It wasn't meant to be the ingredients to a Real Man. Poe is kind of right though, the stereotypical "Guys Guy" is a beer drinking, sex having, sports loving, handy around the house, guy. I do cover all of those as well as reading comics and collecting cool looking action figures.
izdawiz
My bad. I stopped paying attention to Dennis Leary right around the first Ice Age.
izdawiz
That has me thinking about the best things out of Boston.
1) Baked Beans
2) Comedians (Leary, Stephen Wright, etc.)
3) The Patriots
4) The Celtics
5) Haaahvaaard…
6) "Cheers" was set there.
7) Filene's Basement (according to my wife)
ayak
What can I say, one man's junk is another man's treasure, to each his own… where the hell did this asshole get off telling people how it is? get a life asshole… collecting, wether they be toys, playboy mags, cars, whatever, they're not just hobbies, they ARE passion.
Dark Angel
I gotta say…this really doesn't upset me. The whole rant reads to me like someone who has far more issues with their own self image than I care to get into, and I just feel sorry for him.
"Lemme ask this, has collecting toys ever helped anyone get laid?"
I once had to trade sex in exchange for the return of my Tauron Shaman, does that count?
…yeah…it's a long story…
izdawiz
Lemme guess, a breakup was involved… 😉
Was the Shaman worth it?
DankOne
Well seems to me this one is jealous. Maybe someone made fun of their body part collection. Seriously, I sound to me like somebody needs to look into the mirror and look at ones own issue before casting the hate towards toy collectors. I'm a pretty happy person and I'm ok with who I am! I still play with my friggin toys! Being almost 37 ain't gonna stop me. I drink beer… I make my own Beer. I'm married and have my own home bar, pay my bills and go out with my friends the opposite of awkward. Unless you count my ability to drink to much tequila and punish the bushes with my Vomit Power! That can be awkward.
Sure it's cool nowadays to be a "GEEK" but I'll be willing to bet many of us were geeked out way before you emo band worshiping greesy hair women's jean wearing types were were still in diapers.
May you fall into a pool of 1,000,000 legos!!
Ok I feel better now!